did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
