Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
