I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can't just leave with hair like that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
