that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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