That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My bed smells like the plague
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
