i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
