every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
