nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
