I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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