We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
