nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
