i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
