I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
