your thong is hanging out like whoa
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
