Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
