Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
