your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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