tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
