You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
