I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
