just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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