this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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