I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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