that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
