Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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