Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
