Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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