He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
