Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
