I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
