I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
