Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
