shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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