Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
