Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
