mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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