I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
