So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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