so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
