Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
