Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
