I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is Oprah even human
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
