Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
