is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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