apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
