I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
