We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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