I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
