There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
