my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
