Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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