oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I AM VODKA MAN
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
