I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
