do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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