There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
