I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she peed on how many people?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
